That Old Blue Pen, It Ain’t What It Used To Be

I’m sure that most who might read this post–all four of you, that is–know that I try often to be what you might call a writer.  It seems really difficult sometimes to keep up with it.  There are many reasons for this, of course, but I really don’t like listing them all.  When I do list them (in my head or on a screen) it makes them seem like excuses.  Hmmm…maybe they are excuses.  That way, if I do list them, they will seem like excuses, I’ll get sick of myself, then I’ll get back to writing like a silly fiend.  Alright then.  Go list. 

Here’s the list of the top ten lies I tell myself when I don’t write on a particular day.

10.  My brain hurts

9.   My brain hurts

8.  The story is just too vast to finish.  I’m barely even going to address that one except to say that the vastness of it all is my favorite part.  Enough said.

7.  My job is a dead-end, stressful, irritating one.  If I wrote more, I could get out of said crappiness, no?  I hate asking myself questions.  Blast.

6.  I’ll do it tomorrow.  Do you know that most perfectionists are the worst procrastinators?  It’s true, say thankee.

5.  I’m doing research.  That will never, ever change anyway.  Research–at least to me–occurs at roughly the same frequency as breathing or enjoying a cold, refreshing beverage.  Just write, you fool.

4.  I’m waiting for inspiration.  Inspiration to write actually happens to me hundreds of times every day.  I have to stop ignoring it.

3.  I’m too busy applying for graduate school.  That stuff takes a few hours here and there.  While stressful, exacting, and demanding, it isn’t exactly the bane of my existence, either.

2.  I don’t have a nice enough computer.  That’s the ultimate shite excuse.  I have a pen and paper.  In addition, the new-old PC I just came upon will be meatier than ever once  J-double-P gets ahold of the contraption.

1.  I sometimes think I’m a fraud.  Well, if I am, all those people who have me edit their papers and their short stories are fooled, as well.  To hell with it.  Write on, suckahs!